The Hug that Changed Me

Years ago, when I was a high school assistant principal, I had Eric in my office.  He had been in my office many times before, and I don’t remember why he was in my office that day.  He was what we called, a “hard” kid.  He was tough, in a gang, and saw little value in school.  I had learned that the misbehavior of students was only the symptom of other issues going on, but I often got caught up with the need to be "efficient" in my job.  At times, I felt like my office had a revolving door.  For some reason that day, I decided to try and connect with Eric.  I asked Eric a lot of questions about his life, his family, and his goals.  It was very evident that he had it rough.  As far as I could tell, he had very little going for him and had very little support.  At the end of our talk, I asked him about the last time he had a hug.  I remember very vividly his response because it crushed me.  He said, “Mr. Steele, I don’t even remember.”  I walked around my desk, and as I hugged him, I said, “Eric, I don’t know where you’ll be in ten years, or what you’ll be doing … but I want you to remember that there was a guy who cared enough about you to give you a hug.”

I have no idea where Eric is now ... or what he is doing.  I don’t know if he remembers that hug. 

 I do.  

When I think of that hug, I’m reminded of why we do what we do.  I’m reminded that we see students every day who desperately need our time, our support, and indeed, our love.  Students walk our halls; they sit in our classes; and we have no idea what they’re dealing with. We get frustrated when they’re tardy, when they’re out of dress code, when they are not prepared, when they are inattentive and disengaged.  When I think of Eric, I remember that sometimes … a student might need a hug more than they need our “lesson.”